Raising a toast

I have never really liked champagne. I think it’s one of those snooty falooty drinks that people sip on when they want to look elite or cool. And really, how do you tell one apart from the other? They all taste sour, acidic and tart (no I’m not describing the properties of vinegar here!). But a recent event that I attended with a friend has changed my perception about that little glass of bubbly.

How and why? Well, I’d like to give cheers and much credit to a certain spirited gentleman by the name of Rajeev Singhal. What does he do? Eat your heart out people because what he does for a living is DRINK! To say that he is bubbling with enthusiasm and knowledge is stating the obvious, because Rajeev Singhal, Comité Interprofessionnel du Vin de Champagne (CIVC)’s, champagne ambassador in India is like an eager child waiting to spill all about the queen of spirits – champagne.

My brief tete-e tete with him comprised mainly of me asking basic (read stupid) questions about champagne and him patiently answering each and every one of them. He even let me pop open a bottle called ‘Ace of Spades’ which costs a whopping 1.3 lakhs!  He starts off on an effervescent note, telling us that we have been fooled all these years being served sparkling wine in the guise of champagne. “It’s not champagne unless it actually comes from the Champagne region of France,” he says with stress, driving the point home.

Talking about how he got into the art of champagne appreciation, Rajeev says, “I’m trying to do for champagne, what I did for wine a couple of years back. It’s very heartening to see how the country has become aware and knowledgeable about wines. I see that in Chennai as well, the response has been picking up over the years.”

Champagne connotes different things to different people. While some associate it with romance and love, for most, it marks a celebration or happy occasion. While Rajeev agrees, he says with a smirk, “I don’t understand why these racers pop the champagne and spray it all over each other. My heart breaks because it is such a precious liquid. Why not drink it all instead?”

We definitely can’t argue with that logic, especially after a crash course on how delicately and beautifully these wines are prepared. Transporting us to Champagne, Rajeev says that the bubbly drink has a history that dates back 2000 odd years. He also says that champagne is made from only three varieties of grapes – the chardonnay, pinot noir and pinot meunier. The colours vary from a pale straw gold to a much richer salmon or blush pink. So how are the variations in the colour achieved? “Well, did you know that even if you used red grapes and took off the skin, the resultant juice would be white in colour? It really depends on the mix in percentage between the three grape varieties used,” he says.

Considering Chennai is still thought of as a slightly more conservative market when it comes to alcohol, does he think that there is enough variety of wines and champagnes to learn from? “I was terribly surprised, but in a pleasant way. I think Chennai is almost on par with Mumbai and Delhi, which is a more open market when it comes to champagne appreciation. I have seen some stellar varieties in all the star hotels in Chennai.”

Finally, tell him that we have all experienced whisky, vodka and rum hangovers and ask him what the devilish after-effects of champagne are and he replies pat, “Madame Lilly Bollinger put it best when she said, ‘I only drink champagne when I’m happy, and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I am alone. When I have company, I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I am not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it - unless I’m thirsty.’”

Love Bites!

I have never been one of those moony-eyed people who sigh and swoon as Valentine’s Day arrives. In fact, mention those very words to me and I’m sure to throw a hissy fit, much to the dismay, and sometimes glee of the people who have been in my life.

While I may have a romanticised notion of life and I am a hopeless romantic at heart, the thought of expressing your love to that ‘special’ someone on a day assigned for it just makes me sick to the stomach.

Or well, at least it did. Now, because I am surrounded by a gaggle of couples who act so loopy la la on V Day, I have come to partially accept or stomach this concept. That being said, most of the time their sickly sweet behaviour is sure to give me a bout of diabetes! It was just the other day that a friend and I were discussing what her hubby and her could, should and would do on D-Day…oops, I mean V-Day. Ideas for a fancy, romantic beachside dinner came to mind, fancy gifts and expensive perfumes came to mind, but then I got thinking and Eureka! I had a light bulb moment.

You see, this friend (let’s call her ‘X’ for the sake of convenience) is not really much of a kitchen person. While she fancies the idea of being a modern day Nigella Lawson, her exploits are relegated to making the odd sausages and eggs. Between her hubby and her, they have a grand total of about five handwritten recipes, both given by their respective mums, in a hope that they will actually cook a full course meal someday and stop the takeout route!

Therefore, I was looking up recipes for her to cook him a meal and the star of the show seems to be this absolutely decadent and gorgeous looking RED VELVET CAKE, which also reflects the mood of the season. Here is the recipe…happy baking lovers!

RED VELVET CAKE

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
2 cups of sugar
1 cup butter, softened
2 eggs
1 tbsp cocoa powder
1 1/2 tbsp liquid red food coloring
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp cider vinegar

METHOD: Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease and lightly flour 2 or 3 round 9" cake pans. Sift flour and salt together, set aside.  In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the butter and sugar.  Mix until light and fluffy.  Add the eggs one at a time.  Mix well after each addition.  Add the flour mixture to the bowl alternately with the buttermilk, beginning and ending with flour mixture.  Blend in vanilla. In a small bowl, mix the 1 1/2 tbsp red food coloring and 1 tbsp cocoa powder until a paste forms.  Add to the sugar and butter mixture.  Mix well.  In a small bowl or condiment cup, stir together the baking soda and cider vinegar.  This will foam and should be put into the batter immediately after well mixed.  After adding the foam mixture, blend on medium-high speed until batter is consistent. Spoon batter evenly into pans - batter will be very thick!  Level top of batter with a spatula.  Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until cake springs back when pressed in the center.  Turn out on wire racks and cool completely.

CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
2 - 8oz packages of cream cheese, softened
1 cup butter, softened
2 tsp vanilla extract
4-5 cups sifted confectioners' sugar

In a large mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese, butter and vanilla together until smooth.  With the mixer on low, gradually pour in the confectioners' sugar.  Increase the speed to high and beat until light and fluffy.  If mixture is too thick, add a little milk to loosen it.  If it is too thin, add additional powdered sugar or put in the refrigerator to firm up.

NOTE: If carving cake and coating with crumbs, be sure to put the crumbs on when the icing is fresh and still sticky.

A fine way to dine

You’ve been invited to a formal dinner party, but you haven’t a clue what to do? I had the misfortune of attending one and since I didn’t have a clue, I read up and am glad to say I was able to hold my own. Here are a few simple tips: 

In order to master proper dining etiquette, it is important to follow some simple rules that is sure to wow your guests. The use of good table manners is important at any meal, and more so when it comes to fine dining. Make sure that you maintain a good posture, use proper language, and show respect towards your fellow guests.

When using cutlery or silverware, it is important to begin with the outside pieces first and move in as the meal courses progress. Cutlery items should only be used for their intended purpose and should not be interchanged or used throughout the meal. It is important to compliment the host or hostess when possible in a sincere manner that does not come across as simulated flattery. It is okay to say ‘this wine is exceptional’ or ‘this is one of my favourite desserts’ as long as the statement is true.

If you have a special dietary requirement, it should be addressed prior to the meal and not once you have been served. But, you are not obligated to eat something you cannot or do not like. Do not complain about the item that is served to you. It is polite to leave an item on your plate or refuse a second helping or a dessert.

While the proper way to show that you are finished with a salad or entrée is to place your cutlery horizontally across the plate, this is not always the case with other dishes such as small bowls or ice cream cups. The proper way to conduct yourself during the removal of plates and dishes between courses is to sit perfectly still. Don’t try to help as you may just end up making a mess.

If you have initiated the meal or been invited to the meal, you should always thank your dining companion for making the time and effort to join you. It is important to give them your full attention and try to refrain from interrupting the person who is speaking. Pay attention to what they are saying because you would expect the same when you are speaking.

The use of cell phones and pagers during a meal is often frowned upon as an interruption and it’s a sign that you are not willing to devote your full attention to the meal or conversation. If you repeatedly excuse yourself from the table to attend to other matters, companions at the table may feel insulted or offended.

Also, remember that smoking is considered ill-mannered and unless you are offered drinks and a cigarette after dinner, do not take out your pack and light up. Finally, asking for carryout portions is inappropriate when you are a guest. Follow these simple, yet effective rules and you are sure to make the dining experience a fine one.

Oriental Offerings

I have been craving good Chinese food for quite a while now (those of you who have read my status messages on G Talk will know), so when I heard that good ol’ China Town was playing host to the Chinese Food Festival, an ode to the Year of the Rabbit, my mind was made up.

After cajoling the boss and my other colleague, us three super troopers decided to satiate our appetites with some stir-fry, Szechwan magic. (I’m telling you, my lunch break is all I look forward to on a ‘hard(ly) working’ Saturday.) Warmly welcomed in the China Town abode, the three of us got down to business immediately.

Orders placed, the majority of our time was spent sharing office banter, watching glimpses of the Filmfare awards on NDTV (BREAKING NEWS: SRK wins the Best Actor award…sigh! This is what ‘News’ has been reduced to) and generally ruing the fact that we were working on a damn Saturday. And then, slowly but surely, the most delicious looking food arrived in all its glory.

We started with the Mongolian Vegetable Soup, a silky smooth concoction of dark soy and stock, perfectly infused with the fresh, inspired flavours of garlic, ginger and fresh vegetables. The starters comprise of Stir-Fried Szechwan Vegetables, crisp, crunchy vegetables tossed in a ginger and soy reduction, and the wickedly delightful, cotton-cloudesque Chicken Szechwan Dim Sum. Gloriously light, this was by far one of the most cleverly put together dishes simply because of its innovative use of a spicy stuffing as opposed to blanched, insipid meat. 

Main course consisted of the interestingly flavoured Broccoli, Baby Corn and Mushroom in Hunan Sauce, but the real winner was the Crispy Chicken Chilli Oyster Sauce – a perfect combination of crisp chicken shards dunked in a sharp, yet succulent oyster chilli sauce. Combine that with the Lotus Leaf Wrapped Vegetable Fried Rice and soft, stir-fried noodles and ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!  

Sufficiently stuffed, my colleagues seemed to prefer lolling on the sofas, I was determined to end my already perfect meal on a sweet note. Reluctantly, the two agreed and I squealed in delight as my order of Pineapple Wonton arrived. Crisp, crunchy parcels stuffed with the tangy, golden goodness of luscious pineapple…well what can I say? If this is what the Year of the Rabbit promises to be, then Bugs Bunny is on the top of the list for me!

Budget bites!

So it is the end of the month and presumably, the pockets are not only dry, they are practically dehydrated. But I still want good food, I don’t want to pay more than 50 rupees and I do not want roaches as a side order when my plate arrives. Now where oh where am I going to find a place that will meet even one of these criteria…hmmm…

It was when I came to Chennai in 1995 that I first remember visiting Shirdi Bites. My mum’s office used to be in the same arcade as this joint and every day, promptly after school my pesky brother and I would be asked to wait at Shirdi Bites until my mum finished with her meetings. Not that we minded really. Every day we tried something new – but the staple favourites were hot, butter-laden parathas and sinfully cheesy pav bhaji.

Now let me shatter all the illusions that you have of this place before I proceed any further. Shirdi has been around forever now, but It is not even remotely a pretty place. It has no ambience, there are no polite stewards (only cooks who have names like Shomu, Somu and Chotu and holler out the names of dishes like it were their worst enemy) and It is NOT the perfect place to just chill.

In fact, it’s just a hole in the wall that has some weird tiling (I swear they look like bathroom tiles!) and a board that hasn’t been changed since its inception.  But that to me, is still what makes this tiny joint all the more charming. There is nothing fussy, pretentious or affected about Shirdi. Ask the owner and she will tell you with a broad grin “If asli desi khana and hygienic food is what you want, then come here. This is not a hang out joint, in fact, we would appreciate it if people ate and left. Else, there is no way to accommodate the crowd.”

Simply put, if soul food is what you crave, then the buck stops here. They have at least 15 different varieties of parathas, a few thali and meal combos, the ubiquitous chilli cheese toast and Bombay sandwich, apart from the chats and juices. My pick of the lot is the good ol’ Aloo Paratha and their combo paratha (you get to choose the three fillings), the Pav Bhaji, Aloo Tikki Channa, Sambhar Rice (yes I know, North Indians making the best sambhar rice…get over it!) and masala chaas. Oh and did I mention their portions are huge?

So next time, when it is ‘that time of the month’ (I see you, horrible perverted thinkers!) and the hunger pangs strike, just head to Shirdi Bites and sink your teeth into yummy, healthy and pocket-friendly food. And while you are there, have a drink of buttermilk for me, will you?

Pizza, pesto, perfect company!

There is something that needs to be said about Saturdays without alcohol. I don’t know very many people who, when in their drinking prime, prefer NOT drinking during the weekend. So after weekends of hangovers and cursing that drasted bottle of Old Monk the morning after, the girls and I decided to spend a muggy Saturday evening minus the alcohol.

Calls after frantic calls, messages after messages and the plan of action was decided. We decided to leave the boys to their devices and what they do best (nights at Gandhinagar Club discussing the most inane topics ever…yes, yes I enjoy doing that too) and head out for some ‘Girl’ time and a quiet dinner instead.

So off we trotted, three musketeers to a nearby pizza place with an absurd sounding name and sat down with a hot glass of lemon tea as we chatted (read gossip and bitch) about everything under the sun. Now a friend of ours has recently had a baby and since she does not get much time just chilling with us, we put her hubby on diaper duty and kidnapped her for a couple of hours. That he passed the buck to his poor, unsuspecting mum and scooted to meet the boys is another matter altogether!

Orders placed (a vegetable extravaganza pizza for me, an all meat combo ironically called ‘Redemption’ for my friend and a pesto pizza for the other), we got talking, between occasional nicotine breaks, about what life had come to mean for all of us. The ‘just been baby boomed’ one complained about lack of anytime for herself, the ‘married’ one pondered on how hers was an unconventional marriage (without nagging in-laws – yes they make those) and I wondered when I would eventually, if ever, tie the knot.

It was at this time that the steward politely came and told us to get back to the table as our pizzas were getting cold. One bite and we were transported to la-la land. Never ever have I tasted a pesto so fresh, the all meat pizza was generously topped with every kind of meat possible and the thin crust was baked to perfection. Our steward even got us extra dipping sauces, parmesan and olive oil to drizzle on our delicious pies.  Sigh! If only it were not all going to the hip!

Did it burn a hole in our pockets? No, not really at all. Sufficiently stuffed, we decided to continue our late night soiree with a glass of ice-cold lemon tea and conversation. As for dessert, well since the joint we went to had no panna cotta, we satisfied our sweet tooth discussing dishy dudes we all fancied!A Saturday well spent? You betcha! Maybe next time, I'll just carry a hip flask or a premix!

Stranded on the Lagoon

Coconut Lagoon is one of those innocuous looking places that is nestled in the corner of a very bustling and busy TTK road. While its Andhra half-sister Amaravathi usually runs away with the accolades ever so often, the quite Coconut Lagoon also seems to have its share of staunch loyalists, and no, not all of them are Malayali.

Since I work full days on Saturday, no prizes for guessing what my mood is like by the end of the day. It was one of those frumpy Saturdays when a friend came to pick me up at work and we headed to Coconut Lagoon for some much-needed comfort food and conversation. Plus, they served beer, so that only made the prospects brighter!

Now, let me tell you first off that I love Kerala cuisine and Ente Keralam is one of my most favourite restaurants in Chennai. Was I expecting Coconut Lagoon to be as good as Ente Keralam? Well, not really but I was expecting it to be somewhere close. Was it? Hmmm, read on to know more…

So we settled down in the somewhat blah and simply done interiors and were presented with their rather exhaustive menu. We asked for the Crab soup, some appams, mutton stew, Syrian beef fry (its Kerala cuisine, so beef has to be a staple!) and some mushroom pepper fry. Needless to say, the beer was a welcome addition to what we asked for and probably the best thing about the meal.

While the crab soup was interesting, a hearty broth with a large piece of crab in each bowl, the mushroom pepper fry was extremely lackluster. Sure it was spicy, but that’s all it was…lots and lots of pepper and chilli powder. The Syrian beef fry however, more than made up for the mushroom. Fried to perfection, I would definitely go back for this one dish. Sufficiently stuffed with the starters, we decided to dive in to the appams and mutton stew. The appams here are slightly different in the sense that they are served flat. They don’t take the glorious form of the kadhai. Much like what we love at Ente Keralam. Nevertheless, they were tasty. The mutton stew though was a thorough disappointment. It lacked absolutely any flavour and just tasted like a bowl of cream with mutton pieces thrown in.

Not ones to be deterred, we decided to have the pal ada pradhaman for dessert, but sadly, even that was absolutely flavourless. I’m not saying Coconut Lagoon serves bad no. Hell no! It has it’s proud moments…what I do expect is slightly more inspired and thought through food.

NOTE: Do check you bill thoroughly because we were charged over 150 rs extra and even after asking for a revised bill, they charged us an additional fee. We had to recalculate the bill for them! Maybe math classes are in order?